Only the most needful things got done today.
And I wish that I would have given myself permission to do that and that only at the beginning of the day. Perhaps, because it is Saturday and before me stretched a full day of hours without other pressing engagements, I felt compelled to “use the time wisely” and catch up on what feels like an overwhelming amount of work.
Yet, over the past seven days, I have driven 1,500 miles, met with dozens of people, been engaged, dynamic, and active listener and participant… and today my brain rebelled and said, “Nope. Not having it. Not even an hour of it.”
So, I meditated. I breathed. I meditated some more. I ate good food. Engaged with the family. Walked outside. Collected shells found on the shoreline. Washed dishes. Decluttered the minutest of items. Took children on a short outing. Waited for the mail. Sang my current favorite song out loud on repeat in the car. Repeatedly.
But could I concentrate on deep work? No. It was like a bolt cutter and disengaged my brain and the act of turning on the computer just caused me to go numb.
So, I set the timer: 15 minutes. What do you absolutely, positively HAVE to do before the day ends, before a new week starts in the morning? And I did that. And only that. And now, sweet friends, I’m going to bed. I have hit my limit. Hard.
Taking a collective breath away from the anger and rage floating around, let’s rather steady ourselves. When reacting out of anger, we do not see clearly. Anger gives a flashpan of energy, but does not sustain results that are for any of our long-term good.
Scorched earth tactics do not work well with humans.
Take a moment. Breathe. Let’s find the generous room inside ourselves to see beyond our righteous, justified, and possibly well-deserved anger. We can consider the choices of grace, compassion, and mercy instead.
Be bold enough to fill out that application for the dream job you’ve always wished for.
Be brave enough to send in a pitch to your client regarding an effort that when carried out would be of benefit to them and their audience.
Be courageous enough to go in and ask for the raise you and they know you deserve.
Be honest enough with yourself to stop settling for a life that is less than your full potential.
If you do those things, “they” will call you names. Be audacious enough to push ahead anyway.
Be wary of “mental health days”.
Every once in a blue moon, you may well and truly need one. I have found; however, that what I really need is an order to my days and the ability to “turn off” work on regularly scheduled days (maybe it is Saturday or Sunday), but right now, it is rarely both.
Having one day a week that you can count on as “I don’t have to think about work day” really does help you recharge.
Otherwise, you find yourself escaping into “mental health days” far too often on days you should actually be working.
Once again, I seem to have not learned the lesson of strong communication… and now that I’ve sent an invoice, the client does not want to pay, wants to keep my work, and now somehow wants to get more work from me.
So, again, I get to learn a lesson here. The fact that it is coming right on top of an earlier lesson, makes it stand out sharply with all its rough and jagged edges. I’m not used to working with such people. Not used to this caliber of person calling themselves a professional.
But I will learn this lesson. If I don’t, I’m going to be out of business very soon, for who can afford to work and not get paid? Volunteers are wonderful folks and we need them in our society… and I do plenty of volunteer work, but this is my livelihood. Using my work without my permission and without payment is not an acceptable arrangement. Not to me. Not to my family.
Learn from me, Folks. Avoid this costly and painful mistake.
You’ll know it when it happens: that extra serving of sumptin’ sumptin’ piled high on your plate or in your arms or into your truck bed.
Y’all today I got me a lesson in generosity.
No animosity. No lecture. No, “Honey, that’s not how we do things around here.” No blank stare of unbelief at your ignorance or thoughts of ill will towards your fellow man. Nothing in fact to make you even realize that you might have misstepped.
Just poured over the top of you abundance. Where you walk away dazed and wondering, “What just happened?” And if you can manage to sit still for a moment and go over the conversation/event and ponder “what just happened” it will dawn on you with humility.
Child, what happened was you were just modeled a lesson. A lesson in generosity. In how we are all supposed to behave and treat each other in every circumstance of our lives.
Learn it so you stop embarrassing yourself. And be glad you have such mentors in your life!
Snap! When it’s 10 pm and you think it’s a good idea to send emails: think again.
Snap! When it’s Saturday and you think a client or subcontractor or partner won’t mind answering a work question: think again.
Snap! When your kids act out for the fourth or fortieth time this month and you are tempted to get irritated with them, but you’ve worked late every night: think again.
Snap! When you think you can skip setting aside that tax money each month: think again.
In general, it never hurts to think again. You just might save yourself a load of hassle!
Mark Twain is credited with the saying, “Use the right word, not its second cousin.”
It matters: whether written or spoken.
Recently, I had to face some dragons. My belief before the last 48 hours had passed was that the dragons in my line of sight were the fire-breathing sort that were more than likely going to turn me into the proverbial #burntToast.
So, I spent weeks mentally preparing myself. Looking into alternate plans and routes and tactics. The future seemed shrouded in mist.
Literal months moving piles of paper around on my desk: organizing and breaking them down six ways crosswise. My head was full of numbers and rationales… and procrastination:
- Do I have to face this now?
- Is there an alternative?
- What are the risks involved?
- The long-term effects on all parties involved
Forty-eight hours later, I have faced my dragons. They turned out to be the stone dragons. Intimidating in appearance, but upon close inspection (and action) unable to harm. I wondered how many had turned back from the path when seeing them in the distance? How close was I from running away in fear and terror of the possibility of failure.
Like fire drills and tornado warnings, it is a good, safe practice to have plans in place and to practice walking those plans out “in the event of”. These past few hours have been that for me from a business perspective. But it was, in truth, not a drill.
Be prepared to face fire. Do not be afraid to do what needs to be done. What you need is on the other side of what frightens you.
There are days, weeks, months…God forbid, years, when it just doesn’t seem to work out the way it was or is supposed to. I don’t have the magically answer here, except to say, when you want to say, “I can’t go on” to “please go on”.
Yes, you may need to change mightily, but still go on. Learn from what is happening. Be aware. Keep moving.
Don’t give up. Ok, you can give up for a minute, but that’s it. Not more than a minute. You can allow yourself to freefall in thought for :60s and go completely blank, but then, come on now… allow yourself the grace to be whatever is coming next.
Life is messy. So is business. We can work in even small, daily ways to keep them both as beautiful as possible.